Trusting. . .

During my trip to Ireland I got to do something that travelers with toddlers don't usually get to do - I read a book.

Not having to worry about snacks and naps and diapers and blankies and binkies and ositos and strollers - not to mention the actual children - really freed up a lot of time while I was journeying. So, I read a book.

I hadn't ever read anything by Brennan Manning, and for years I've heard good things about his stuff, so I asked the Baileys if I could borrow a book by this author. They picked out and lent me Ruthless Trust. Not sure whether they know this or not about me, but one of the things I've continually struggled with over the years is really trusting God, so this book spoke to me from the first.

Several ideas were very refreshing and challenging to me. One is the idea that trust is rooted in thankfulness in all circumstances. Not just being thankful for sunny days and pay raises, but being thankful even in the midst of gloomy days and layoffs - and worse. The message of this book isn't a trite version of "trust God and he'll bless you with lots of good stuff." It deals with trusting and being thankful in the midst of the unthinkable kinds of tragedies that surround us everyday.

Another is the idea of living in and truly appreciating the moment - the now and here. I know my mind is constantly racing back and forth between what's just happened and what I'm planning for the future so that often I miss the amazing joys of right now. This isn't to say that we should be irresponsible and never remember or plan for anything, but that we don't always have to be so distracted.

Both of these have been hugely challenging to me especially in my relationship with Abigail and Isa. You always hear empty nesters saying something to the effect of, "Enjoy them now, they grow up so fast." I don't want the challenge of parenting on not much sleep cloud my days with grumpiness and anger. I want to be thankful for the spilled milk, crumbs on the floor, and interruptions of my sleep because they're paired with slobbery kisses, fierce hugs, and laughter like you wouldn't believe. I don't want my girls experiencing a mama who's mostly grumpy and annoyed, but one who's mostly joyful.

May God give me grace in this and help me to live joyfully and thankfully and to trust him and his plans.

Portaferry

Here I am with Belen in Portaferry. If you want to see more pics and read more about the trip check out my Portaferry blog.

Going to Ireland

Tomorrow I'm flying off to Portaferry, Northern Ireland where I'll get to spend the weekend with my good friend Belén from Santiago. She worked at Terra Nova until she got a six month internship in marine biology in Portaferry. When she was in Santiago she was my swimming buddy and we had a lot of laughs together. So I'm really hoping this weekend that we can catch up a bit and have a great time hanging out.

Map of Portaferry, County Down GB

I get back in on Monday. While I am so excited about my trip, I am also a bit nervous. I haven't traveled alone since college and while I usually take care of the details when our family travels, this time I won't have any backup. I think I'm most nervous about being away from the girls. Yes, I know it's only three nights, but it still feels like a lot. I know they'll be fine with Matt and that I'll be fine once I'm moving. It also doesn't help that I've been battling a cold all week. Anyway, next time I post hopefully I'll have some gorgeous pictures to share.